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I broke up with my boyfriend this week. Aside from the fact that he sometimes liked to treat me like shit, I’ve been digging myself back into a hole that I can’t get out of. I haven’t been eating, sleeping, or really doing much of anything. If I’m not at work or school (which I’ve been skipping regularly), I’m probably laying in bed trying to make myself get up. When I got to my breaking point, he just couldn’t seem to deal with me anymore, and I don’t blame him because, well, when I get like this I shut everyone out and just plain refuse to speak about it. I’d been telling him for days that I just wanted to be alone, but he kept insisting that there is nothing wrong with me, and that I’m fine, which sent me even farther down into the hole that I so often retreat to. He just couldn’t understand what it’s like to hate yourself and have everyone around you act like there’s absolutely nothing to be upset about.. Like I’m overreacting to something so small. But if he could just see inside my head for two seconds, he’d know. But he couldn’t, so I had to end it. He’s not taking it well, and I’m just about ready to drive off the i35 flyover bridge nearest me. Thinking that I could ever do that to someone else, even someone who made me feel worthless for so long… I don’t deserve to be happy.

And worst part is, I think I’m gonna miss his dog just as much as I’m gonna miss him..

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